Life under the dark cloud of breast cancer is difficult. Normal life as you know it ceases to exist and life instead becomes a relentless conveyor belt of scans, tests, stress, fear, surgery, drains, pain, physio, needles, bloods, anxiety, tears, hormones, chemo, hair loss, sadness, aches, injections, palpitations, sweats, terror, more stress, more pain, more tears, pre-meds, steroids, puffiness, questions, fatigue, and on and on.
But, there are silver linings to the dark cloud. There are things which happen, friends and family around you, people you meet and decisions you make which brighten up the day and help make everything a little less rubbish. You don’t necessarily have to search for these things, they sometimes land on your lap without any warning. And when they appear, savour them and remember them so that when you are having a bad day, you can think of them and smile again.
Perhaps buy a pretty little notebook to write down your silver linings. Then on your dark days you can look back at the good things and it may help to lift your spirits.
This is my A to Z of gratitude – you don’t have to read it but it might help you to realise that there are some good things going on during all the horrid cancer shit:
A: Always there for me: my close support network.
B: Birdsong, Boxsets and Buddy our new addition to the family.
C: Chemo buddies and Chemo nurses.
D: Day to day routine of life and normality.
E: Everything I have.
F: Family, Friends, Fresh air, Flowers blooming in the garden, Food deliveries from my friends.
I: I am here.
J: Just being.
K: Kids: my wonderful, amazing, brave, kind, resilient kids.
L: Lunch: friends visiting and bringing lunch to me when I couldn’t leave the house.
M: My mum: my wonderful, amazing, superstar, angel of a mother.
N: Notes from friends: notes, letters, cards, texts, emails. People who kept in touch and thought of me and my family.
O: Overwhelming kindness of old friends, new friends and strangers whom I have met along the way.
P: Parents, Purpose,
Q: Quiet times to think and reflect.
R: Rock: my rock my husband
S: Strength: realising that I have an inner strength.
T: Taxi-ing me to rads: my wonderful friends who drove me to and from radiotherapy.
U: Understanding more.
W: Walking, Work, Words, Writing.
X: X-ray nurses: the wonderful nurses who held my hands and dried my tears during each and every scan.
Y: Years ahead of me, I hope.
Z: Zapping: the radiotherapy which helped to make me better.